A friend recently sent me this tidbit pictured above, and I couldn't help but laugh hysterically as I read it. It’s meant as a humorous take on writing rules. However, the piece contains some valuable writing advice.
While in journalism school, I learned many dos and don’ts of writing. Number five on the list was, without a doubt, my professor's biggest pet peeve. If you split an infinitive when writing an article or paper for him, you might as well take your notepad and go home. To this day, I can’t split an infinitive, even when grammar-checking software prompts me to do so.
The only sin worse than number five on this list is misspelling a person's name. I notice that particular advice is missing from this cleverly written document. However, it is a cardinal rule. If you can’t spell a person's name correctly, what other facts have you gotten wrong?
Being a writer takes more than a clever thought and a computer or notebook to record it. And while this piece is meant to generate a laugh or two, underneath the clever puns are some solid advice. Let’s break it down to discover which points you should follow and which you can ignore.
1 - Avoid alliteration always.
Who needs the pleasing sound of repeated consonants? It’s not like it adds rhythm and emphasis or anything. Just stick to mundane, monotonous, mundane words.
Although the above explanation is dripping with sarcasm, there are some solid reasons why alliteration isn’t always a bad thing.
It enhances rhythm. Alliteration is often used in poetry and songs because it creates a pleasing rhythm that flows, making it more engaging for the reader or listener.
It emphasizes key concepts. Repeating an initial sound draws attention to particular words or ideas to highlight an important theme.
It sets the mood and tone. Alliteration establishes the mood or tone of a piece. Soft sounds create a soothing atmosphere, while harsh sounds convey tension or excitement.
It aids memory and recall. Repetition of sounds makes phrases memorable. Advertising copywriters use this technique frequently.
It adds a playful element. Alliteration makes your writing more fun and engaging by making it more whimsical. Children’s authors excel at alliteration.
It connects ideas and words. Connecting words and ideas and making text feel more unified is easily achieved with alliteration because it creates cohesion.
Decide whether alliteration enhances the effectiveness and beauty of your writing before using it. As with other writing techniques, be cautious of overuse.
2 - Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
Eh, sometimes.
Ending sentences with prepositions makes your writing stand out, even if it feels clunky and awkward. Most people don’t monitor their speech for prepositions as carefully as they do the written word.
If it’s true that you should write like your audience talks, then fussing about whether your sentences end with prepositions is counter to that advice. I can’t remember the last time someone said to me in conversation “With whom are you going to the concert tonight?” Normal humans say “Who are you going to the concert with?”
While you don’t want to end every sentence you write with a preposition, you can break the rule to improve readability.
3 - The passive voice is to be avoided.
I don’t get all the hate for passive voice. Most copywriters prefer an active voice for its clarity and directness. It’s effective for sales copy for this reason. However, it’s not always the best option.
Here are some legitimate reasons to ignore this rule and break out your passive voice:
You want to emphasize the action over the actor. Passive voice is useful to promote the action over the person performing it. Let’s say a business wants to push out a new product. They may use passive voice to direct attention to the product rather than the company releasing it.
You want to create a formal tone. The passive voice sounds more formal and objective, making it more appropriate for academic, legal, and technical writing.
You want to maintain neutrality. Avoiding blame or responsibility requires using a passive voice. Crisis public relations uses this technique frequently to avoid placing the direct blame on a person or entity. For example, you would say “Mistakes were made” instead of “We made mistakes.”
You want to create a mystery. Storytelling uses passive voice frequently to generate curiosity and build suspense. Mysteries and crime dramas rely on it to create false leads and generate suspense before the final reveal.
4 - Avoid cliches like the plague. They’re old hat.
Originality is overrated. At least if you use AI to generate copy, that is.
But seriously, this is one of the rules we agree with 100%. Avoid cliches unless you need them to create irony in your copy. Even then, you should tread lightly. Most people cringe when they see cliches because they detract from the quality of your writing and show a lack of creativity and uniqueness.
Cliches are predictable and boring. Your readers might tune out if you overuse them. Think of a novel way to say the same thing to set yourself apart from the competition.
Some other reasons to avoid them include:
They fail to create vivid or fresh imagery, diluting the impact of your writing by using tired expressions instead of evocative language.
They reduce your credibility, making you appear lazy or unskilled at writing because you’ve relied on ready-made phrases instead of crafting your ideas and expressions.
They lack impact, failing to evoke strong emotions because they’re so familiar.
They’re overly simplistic, lacking the ability to convey complex or nuanced ideas.
They open the door to misinterpretation, leading to misunderstandings of your intended meaning.
5 - It is wrong to split an infinitive.
Remember when I said earlier that this was a staunch rule of my journalism professor in college? Breaking this rule in your writing assignments earned you an automatic failing grade. Harsh? Maybe. But it was his rule and since he was wielding the red pen of doom, his students complied.
I still get anxious anytime I ignore this rule and split an infinite in my quest to improve readability. I keep waiting for that red pen to strike me down.
However, I have different thoughts on why this rule is outdated. Modern English grammar rules allow for splitting an infinitive for several logical reasons.
Clarity and precision
Splitting an infinitive makes sentences clearer and more precise. It allows you to place adverbs and modifiers in the most impactful position. Take the famous Star Trek line, “To boldly go where no one has gone before.” Tsk, tsk, it splits the infinitive. That’s an automatic F from my journalism professor. If we had not split the infinitive, it would sound like “To go boldly where no one has gone before.” It just doesn’t have the same effect.Natural rhythm and flow
Splitting infinitives sounds robotic and unnatural and interrupts the flow of your words. People don’t speak and think in split infinitives because it feels stunted. If you want your speech or written words to flow, skip this archaic grammar rule.Avoiding ambiguity
As with passive voice, sometimes you must split an infinitive to achieve clarity of focus. Saying, “They plan to completely overhaul the system next year” makes more sense and sounds more like an actual human being than “They plan completely to overhaul the system next year.”
6 - Writers should never generalize.
If you’ve crafted a sentence with the words always or never, I beg you to rethink your choice.
One of the biggest reasons to stick to this grammar rule is to avoid alienating readers. Generalizations can make your writing exclusionary or insensitive to diverse perspectives and experiences.
Oversimplification is another issue. Generalizations often reduce complex ideas to overly simple terms, diminishing the depth and richness of the subject matter. If you’re using them in academic or educational writing, it can lead to superficial analysis that lacks critical insight.
Generalizations reinforce stereotypes and perpetuate harmful biases. Such broad statements risk misinterpretation, leading to misunderstandings. When people draw incorrect conclusions from your writing, it can damage your reputation.
Lastly, generalizing limits critical thinking, which closes the door to discussion and debate.
Seven - Be consistent.
This is another rule I’ll endorse 100%. Consistency - which this subheader lacks - is key to improving the readability of your content. Jumping around between ideas, styles, and tones confuses your readers.
Beyond improving the user experience, consistency builds credibility with your audience because it presents your information coherently and cohesively.
Stick to one thing. Unless that thing is being inconsistent. Then, by all means, be inconsistently inconsistent.
8 - Don’t use more words than necessary. It’s highly superfluous.
Sorry, folks, but this is another rule I stand behind. In the spirit of this advice, I’ll declare my reasons concisely.
Fewer words make ideas clearer.
Concise writing conveys power.
Shorter sentences are easier to read.
9 - Be more or less specific.
Vagueness rarely has a place in communication unless your goal is to confuse or mislead your audience.
Let’s say you wanted to protect someone’s identity to avoid legal issues or liability. Then, vagueness when describing a situation is appropriate.
It’s also an effective technique for poetry or other literary pieces when you want to leave room for interpretation by the reader.
Flexibility is key to knowing whether this rule applies. Be prepared to think more deeply about your choice to follow or ignore this grammar advice before putting pen to paper.
10 - Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
Hyperbole is the worst thing in the universe. Understatement, however, is simply the best thing since sliced bread.
OK, not really.
Exaggeration has its place in writing, but it’s one of those rare techniques you only pull out in appropriate situations.
Comedians often exaggerate because it’s an effective tool for adding emphasis, humor, or dramatic effect. Storytellers sometimes use it to enhance entertainment value or emotional impact.
Times to avoid it include academic writing, journalism, professional communications, and historical accounts.
You may also want to avoid exaggerating if your target audience includes non-native English speakers because they may not grasp the sarcasm behind most exaggerations.
Break language rules to sound more human
Yes, there are times when following foundational grammar rules improves the effectiveness of your communications. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t bend or break these rules under the right circumstances.
Understanding when - and why - to incorporate more flexibility in your writing allows you to innovate and adapt your message to different audiences.
Master the rules first. Then, gain the confidence and skill you need to break them strategically.
Happy rule-breaking!