How To Be A Better Human: Life Lessons From My Cat
For those times when "humaning" can get a little overwhelming
I lost a very important purr-son in my life last week. His name was Zorro, and he was the best mini panther ever. This small furry dude strolled onto my back porch and into my life nearly 17 years ago, starving and in desperate need of rescue.
Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a sucker for animals. Heck – I think I like them more than other humans sometimes. Animals love you unconditionally. Humans, not so much. So, anytime I can help one, I’m right there, lending a hand.
My backyard has become a sort of wild kingdom, where all the wildlife hangs out because they know I’ll feed them, protect them, and love them (even though they’re a bunch of freeloaders). Some of my friends joke that I’m like Snow White. I can think of worse things to be called, so I’ll take it.
That day in the summer of 2008, I took one look at that half-starved creature and knew I had to help. The cat distribution system had worked its magic, determined to change his life and mine.
As I sit here in my grief over his loss, I can’t help but think of all the things Zorro taught me during our time together. They’re all things that make us better humans – and help us achieve all our goals in life. So, this week’s newsletter is dedicated to Zorro’s legacy. I hope you apply some of these lessons to your life. I know I will.
Lesson 1: Know who to trust
Trust is a funny thing. You either earn mine or you don’t. There’s no in-between. I suspect I’m not any different than most humans in that regard.
Our ability to trust has deep evolutionary roots. Our brains have protective mechanisms that make us cautious based on previous experiences with betrayal or disappointment. And don’t forget our trusty friend, anxiety, which alerts us to potential harm or exploitation. Listening to our gut and knowing who can help—or likely hurt—us has served us well throughout history, increasing our chances of survival.
Zorro had a decision to make that day he showed up on my porch. Would he trust me to help him, or run away and likely die? I didn’t tell you earlier that he was part of a feral cat colony in my neighborhood. I would see the others from time to time, but none of them ever came close. Being born wild and free made him very distrustful of humans.
Thankfully, he decided I was there to help him. While he wouldn’t get too close to me, he agreed to come to eat the food and drink the water I put out on my back porch for him under one condition – I had to go back inside first.
My urge to pet and cuddle animals will probably be the cause of my death someday, so it was difficult for me to agree to those terms. But I did it. And for the next 8 months, Zorro knew he could come to my porch when he was hungry, and I’d feed him without expecting anything in return.
It took months before he let me stay on the porch (albeit at a respectful distance) while he ate. It was nearly a year before I could stand next to him, and eventually stroke his fur. Trust was built because I earned it.
Remember that when you interact with other humans professionally or personally. Trust isn’t automatic. Behave in a way that makes you worthy of earning it. Sometimes that means fighting the urge to do things your way.
Lesson 2: Believe in yourself
The second lesson Zorro has taught me is to always believe in myself. How many times have you doom-scrolled on social media and come across a post about imposter syndrome? I see several daily and I always relate. I’ve been in the writing business for more than a quarter of a century. Deep down, I know I know my stuff. But doubts can still creep in because it’s human nature to second-guess ourselves. That inner nagging can sometimes make us unsure of our decisions and worth.
Zorro definitely did not have any trouble believing in himself. He was a ferocious mini panther who was confident in his ability to kick ass and take names. His confidence in his fighting abilities was how I eventually got him inside my house (more about that later). He was always picking fights with the other animals to assert his authority and establish his kingdom. He messed with what the vet suspected was a raccoon one evening and got himself seriously injured.
I used that trust I had established with him over the last year, strapped on some gloves to protect myself from bites and scratches, and wrangled him off my porch and into a cat carrier to take him to the vet. The rest is history.
Even though he became the best little house kitty ever (he hated it when I would say that), he never lost that belief that he was a tough guy. He’d regularly throw himself into the windows and glass patio doors to defend his turf if another animal dared to stop by uninvited.
Be like Zorro and don’t be afraid to believe in yourself. That kind of self-confidence plays an important role in achieving your goals.
Lesson 3: Be willing to learn new skills
Zorro didn’t know how to “cat.” Born feral, he never learned how to be social with other cats or people, he had no clue how to meow, and cat toys scared the crap out of him. Thankfully, I had another cat in my house named Gabriel who was eager to teach his new friend the tricks of the trade.
I am not exaggerating when I say it was years before I ever heard Zorro meow. I was starting to think that he couldn’t. But then one day he shocked me by meowing while I was working at my desk to get my attention. I took a photo of him at that moment to remember this milestone (it’s the one you see above). He didn’t always use his voice. It seemed like a last resort when he meowed about something. So, I never ignored his pleas when they came.
Thanks to Gabriel—and another cat, Dulcinea, we adopted when Gabe died—he also learned to appreciate toys. His favorite was the red dot, which he would relentlessly track and kill anytime it crossed his path. He also became quite the toy mouse de-tailer. Anytime he got one in his grip, he’d gnaw and pull until the fake tail and ears came off first. Then, he’d pull out all the stuffing inside. I had to explain to him more than once that it wasn’t a real mouse, and that he was eating fuzz.
Eventually, he got better with his social skills. He used to hide from people, even the ones who regularly stopped by for visits. He trusted me and that was about it for the longest time. He even hid from my husband in those early years before eventually deciding he was an OK human. During the last three years of his life, Zorro became quite friendly. He no longer ran under the bed or to the basement when guests stopped by and would even seek attention. He was the furry ambassador of the house.
In life, don’t be afraid to learn new things. It’ll make your life more fulfilling personally and professionally. In my 25 years in this business, I’ve upskilled frequently to remain relevant. I’ve also adopted new hobbies and habits that have made me happier as a human outside of work. Be like me and Zorro. Keep learning and growing.
Lesson 4: Invest in the power of teamwork
We’ve all heard the cliched phrase “Teamwork makes the dream work.” It’s cringy, but it’s true.
Zorro may have lived in a feral colony before he became the best house kitty ever, but out there, it was every cat for themselves in a fight for survival. When he came inside to be part of my family, it took him a while to realize that working together was an effective way to get what you want.
My other cat, Gabriel, taught him how to tag-team with treat begging. Once they had it down, the two would take turns ganging up on me until I relented and gave them snacks.
A few years later, I caught him collaborating with Dulcinea to catch a mouse that had sneaked into the house and retreated under the dresser in my bedroom. It was 3 a.m. and they woke me up with their antics. I was more enthralled than annoyed once I saw what they were doing. Zorro worked to drive the mouse out from under the dresser right into Dulcie’s waiting murder mittens. Together, they vanished the intruder. I was so proud watching that moment because it perfectly demonstrated how working together can help you achieve your goals. My only regret is that I wasn’t quick enough to get it on video.
Be like Zorro. There’s power in numbers. Collaborate with others at work and at home to get stuff done. Sometimes the quickest way to fail is to insist on doing something yourself. Know when to team up, and do your best to be a valuable team player.
Lesson 5: Don’t be afraid to be persistent
Patience may be a virtue, but persistence is the key to success. Zorro didn’t use his meow power much. However, when he did, I knew it was for something he desperately wanted and he wouldn’t stop until he got his way. Truth be told, it was difficult to say no to a face that cute.
One of his biggest motivators for practicing persistence was his desire to get outside. He never forgot his wild roots and was quite the escape artist. All it took was for one of us to not latch the basement door tight—coupled with a raised garage door—and he was out on the town. He knew how to maneuver his paws to pull a door open (another “upskilling” trick Gabriel taught him).
A few years ago, the furry turd pried open the basement door while my husband was taking out the trash and slipped out into the night. He was gone for 10 days. I was resigned that I’d never see him again when he showed up on my back porch, much like the first time I’d ever laid eyes on him. He was hungry after nearly two weeks without a reliable food source, reminding him that the grass wasn’t always greener on the other side of the door.
That realization led to his other persistence project—demanding all doors and windows be open if it was sunny outside so he could enjoy the breeze and the smell of the birds. If he couldn’t be outside, this was the next best thing. He didn’t care if it was 30 degrees outside. When he wanted a door or window open, he would yowl until he got his way.
We give up too soon on things because it’s easier than persisting. Take a page out of Zorro’s life instruction manual and keep on asking for what you want. You might just get it.
Lesson 6: Know when to ask for help
Remember when I said earlier that Zorro always picked fights when he lived outside? Well, it was one such epic battle with a raccoon that convinced him it was time to ask for my help for the second time in a year.
The first time, as you’ll recall from earlier, was when he showed up on my back porch starving. I could tell it was tough for him then, but he asked for the food he needed to survive. A year later, when he limped onto my porch with a severe paw injury, he wasn’t afraid to let me know he needed my help again to ease his suffering. I fully believe that’s why he let me pick him up and put him in a cat carrier without any resistance. Up to that point, I’d barely touched him, let alone tried to pick him up. But I was willing to take that risk because he needed my help.
Last week, he asked for my help again. He was suffering and his health had declined rapidly over 4-5 days. He could no longer stand up or walk, with back legs that refused to cooperate. He cried when I held him, which he never does. As much as it hurt, I knew what I had to do. It was the last act of love I could show him. At 17, he’d lived a long and happy life. Much longer than he would have if he’d never shown up on my porch that first time. I knew he was asking for my help, and I didn’t deny it one final time.
My point in sharing this with you is that sometimes helping others hurts. Sometimes asking for help can hurt our pride. Those are never reasons not to ask for help or offer it to someone else when you know they’re in need. Zorro was a proud kitty, but he also knew when he couldn’t go it alone.
Lesson 7: Empathy doesn’t make you weak
For all his bravado, Zorro had a softer side. I called him the best house kitty ever for a reason. He went from being a feral creature resistant to touch to one of the best snugglers I’ve ever met. He always knew when I was upset or not feeling well. He’d curl up on my lap or next to me in bed and just cuddle me.
Ten years ago I had major brain surgery to repair a Chiari malformation. When I came home from the hospital, I was in a lot of pain and mostly slept. Any time I opened my eyes, there was Zorro and my other cat, Gabriel, keeping watch like furry little nursemaids. They would “sandwich cuddle” me, with one curled up at my stomach and one curled up at my back. It was the best medicine in the world for a speedy recovery.
In a world that tells us we must be hard and cold, don’t be afraid to empathize with others. And not just in your personal life, but while on the job as well. If my fighting furball understood the power of extending love and care to others, you can do it, too. You never know what someone is going through in life. Be the reason they go on, not the reason they give up.
Commit to being a better human
I know this week’s newsletter is off the beaten path a bit. But writers write, especially when we have all the feelings about something. This was much-needed therapy for my grief, and I thank you for indulging me.
When I thought about how I wanted to honor my furry friend of 17 years, it was a no-brainer. I was going to write through my pain. Zorro lived a full and happy life and taught me so much. The best way to honor him was to share those life lessons with all of you.
When life gets hard and you don’t know how to “human” your way through it, be a cat instead. Just maybe skip the hacking-up hairballs part. No one needs that.😊